And She Writes too

As young woman, I read a few romance novels and often wondered if romance like that truly existed in a marriage. When I became part of the dating world at age 16, I wanted that knight in shinning armor to sweep me off my feet, ride me off into the sunset on his white horse. When I reached my twenties and started looking for husband material, I looked for romance, the candlelight dinners, the love notes, the poems, the unexpected thoughtful gifts. When I got married, I learned that romance is nothing like what you read in those romance novels. However, romance does and can exist in a marriage.

Keeping romance in a marriage doesn't have to involve lots of work or even days of planning. Being romantic doesn't have to involve a dozen roses, candlelight dinners and dancing under the stars. Most men find being romantic difficult, overrated and costly. Most women find it necessary, fulfilling and an expression of love. To me, romance should be simple and thoughtful.

You don't have to charge romance on your credit card. Leaving meaningful notes for each other in unexpected places can put a spark turn into a fluttering flame. Sending the love of your life a simple but sweet email during the work day is just enough to remember why you fell in love. You've seen it the movies, "I love you" written on the mirror with lipstick, try it, I promise sparks will fly. Or better yet, why not use his saving cream to write I love you on the mirror, or write I love you on the mirror using the steam from the shower. Simple love notes, that require little thought, who needs poems.

Buying greeting cards are not just for anniversaries, birthdays, Mother's Day or Father's Day; why not buy a card just because you are in love. Buy a card for each other once a month to show what you are feeling at that moment in time. The card doesn't have to be a card with poetic meaning. The card needs to express your feelings at that time; whether it you are feeling humor, friendship, encouragement, sympathy, hope or love. The giving and receiving of cards is a simple gesture of endearing love.

Creating special moments for each other is also an important part of bringing romance in marriage. Special moments can involve a nice foot massage, meeting for lunch in the middle of the day, surprising each other with a child free night. Also, if you are not normally the person that cooks dinner for the family, create a special moment by cooking the family meal. Giving the cook a night off is one sure way to earn those important points in the romantic department.

For me after 18 years of marriage, I find the most romantic things my husband does for me involves my children. My son plays baseball, my husband is his coach, while I am sitting in the stands watching my son play I will glance over at my husband as he is blowing me a kiss. Watching my husband lay next to my daughter on her bed as she reads him a bedtime story just melts my heart. Watching my children share their love for their dad makes me fall in love with my husband even more.

Being romantic is important in any marriage, whether you have been married for twenty years or two years. It's easy to get comfortable in marriage and take each other for granted. Many marriages fail because they stop falling in love with each other. Romance in a marriage helps you fall in love again.

At night when it was time for me to get ready for bed, my daddy would pick me up so I could reach the top drawer of his dresser and pick out one of his t-shirts. My dad's t-shirts were my pajama's, I loved the way they fit me and how they felt. I loved that my dad's t-shirts were big enough for me to draw my knees up to my chest and cover them. My dad's t-shirts were often just plain white undershirts but sometimes his shirts had grease stains on them, or paint smeared on them. And sometimes his t-shirts had images of humor on them but what I loved most about them was that they smelled like my dad.

My dad wasn't perfect; he wasn't a wealthy man or a college educated man. He worked many jobs and was fired from just as many. My dad had habits that I didn't like; he smoked, he cursed like a sailor, he was a male chauvinist and he was selfish. Growing up I was scared of my dad; scared of his anger, scared of his hands and scared of disappointing him. My dad was a strong disciplinarian and often ran our home like a boot camp. However, my dad wore his heart on his sleeve. My dad on the outside looked like big grizzly bear but was soft and cuddly like a teddy bear.

For me, my dad was everything I needed him to be. My dad taught me the value of a dollar by showing me that wealth was not as important as love. My dad taught me that education is what helps a person succeed. I learned from my dad that cursing in anger doesn't always produce the results that you want. My dad taught me that bad habits are hard to stop but easy to never start. My dad taught me that it is okay to be scared as long as we don't let fear rule our lives. However, most importantly my dad taught me how to love unconditionally.

As a little girl, my dad was invincible. He was my hero but never saved anyone's life, never fought in a war, he never fought a fire or even rescued a cat from high in a tree. Nonetheless, my dad was someone as big as the Hulk, as strong as Superman and as invincible and Batman. The little girl in me thought my dad could do anything, could be anything and would live forever.

When I got married, and my dad walked me down the isle, I whispered to him that I would always be his little girl. At forty-one years old, sixteen years after my dad gave me away, I was still his little girl. I would still crawl in his lap, give him a kiss on the cheek and embrace his bear hugs. Being with my dad brought out my vulnerability and my insecurities but at the same time he reminded me of my strength.

Today, a year and half after my dad's death, I would give anything to crawl in my dad's lap, give him a kiss one last time, and feel his big arms around me. Today, I would love to tell my dad just how important he is to me. Today, I would give anything for just one more private moment with my dad, one more long conversation, one more chance to say love you Pop. Today, I wear his t-shirt to bed and draw my knees to my chest as tears fall from my face.

Just yesterday someone asked me if I could have any car in the world what would I want? I am not much into cars so this was a hard question for me to answer. Therefore, I decided to come up with the top 10 cars I'd like to own. Many of my choices have more to do with there sentimental value rather than there looks or economical contributions.

First, the Fiat X1/9. As a teenager I owned a 1976 bright yellow Fiat X1/9 and this little car became my favorite. I loved being able to take the top off, drive around town as the wind blew my long blond hair. That car was my signature; people knew my car before they knew me.

Second, a turquoise and white '57 Chevy. My dad restored old cars for a hobby and then later as job. His first major job was restoring an old 57 Chevy from chassis to steering wheel. This car was a beauty that won many awards at antique car shows. Owning a turquoise and white 57 Chevy would be a tribute to my dad; a man who lived and breathed antique cars.

Third, the 1959 Corvette convertible; another influence from my dad. My mom and dad had a 1959 Corvette Convertible when they were first married in 1962. I remember hearing stories of them taking the Corvette and driving to Lake Tahoe for their honeymoon. Not only does this car have sentimental value but it's one heck of a stylish car. How can you not like a convertible Corvette?

Fourth, a 1975 red Ford Mustang. Why not go back in time to the car that first attracted me to my husband. Sure it was old and had horrible interior but his car had potential, it had personality. When my husband pulled up in my driveway to pick me up for a date, I couldn't help but hold my head up higher as I sat in the passenger's seat of his hot little red Mustang. It also helped that my date was HOT too.

Okay now on to the more modern cars. Many of my choices here are more practical and economical choices. As a mom of two children, I am always looking for ways to save money, conserve energy while still being practical. Therefore, my next few choices are for the mommy in me.

Fifth, the newest model of the Toyota Sienna. Right now, I own a 2003 Sienna, this van has great gas mileage and it seats 7 people comfortably. However, there are some things that need improvement. The newer Sienna's are a more practical van then the earlier models. They now have automatic doors which are helpful when you have your hands full of children and groceries. The windows in the back of the van go down so the passengers can have access to the outside world. The seats in the newer model are also easily removed for larger cargo. Of course, every mom of young children needs an entertainment package in their car and the Toyota Sienna delivers.

Sixth, the 2008 Honda CRV. I first saw this car when driving to work one day, and I instantly fell in love with it. Not only is the CRV economical getting 20/27 miles per gallon but it's cute to boot. It has the look of an SUV but drives like a car. You can't go wrong with a Honda.

Seventh, the 2008 Dodge Caravan. This car was a must have after seeing a commercial when the model first came out on the market. My kids reaction to the swivel seats and the pop up table for playing cards on long road trips not to mention the dual DVD player, made this practical van a must have on my list.

My next three choices are not so much family friendly cars but cars my family wants. I can't dream about the top ten cars I want without including my immediate family's choices with my own.

Therefore, my eighth car isn't a car at all but a truck. No, I wouldn't by truck for myself, I am not a truck person at all but my son loves trucks. Since he was about 5 years old he has dreamed about owning a Ford F-250. Not very practical, but when he turns 16 in about 4 years, I would certainly feel better with him being behind the wheel of a Ford F-250 over any sports car.

My ninth choice is for my daughter. She wants a black convertible Corvette. Again, not very practical and personally the thought of her behind the wheel of Corvette scares me. She is only 10, so I have six more years to talk her into a car that doesn't drive faster than her mommy can run. Maybe a Volkswagen Bug will be in her future.

Last but not least, I would like a BMW; any model of any year. When I met my husband, he told me that he would have a BMW by the time he turned 25, instead he married me. He still talks about loosing his dream car to his dream wife and one of these days I would like to make his dream car tangible.

Looking over my list, I have learned that my love for cars is limited to what others love and what I see as practical. Sure I dream about driving an expensive out-of-my-reach car but I am more of a realist. The chance of me having the money to buy any of the cars listed is pretty slim so the chance of me owning an expensive car is nil. Therefore, I think I will stick with my little 2003 Toyota Sienna Van CE.

As a young woman, I read a few romance novels and often wondered if romance like that truly existed in a marriage. When I became part of the dating world at age 16, I wanted that knight in shinning armor to sweep me off my feet, ride me off into the sunset on his white horse. When I reached my twenties and started looking for husband material, I looked for romance; the candlelight dinners, the love notes, the poems, the unexpected thoughtful gifts. When I got married, I learned that romance is nothing like what you read in those romance novels. However, romance does and can exist in a marriage.

Keeping romance in a marriage doesn't have to involve lots of work or even days of planning. Being romantic doesn't have to involve a dozen roses, candlelight dinners and dancing under the stars. Most men find being romantic difficult, overrated and costly. Most women find it necessary, fulfilling and an expression of love. To me, romance should be simple and thoughtful.

You don't have to charge romance on your credit card. Leaving meaningful notes for each other in unexpected places can put a new spark into a fluttering flame. Sending the love of your life a simple but sweet email during the work day is just enough to remember why you fell in love. You've seen it the movies, "I love you" written on the mirror with lipstick, try it, I promise sparks will fly. Or better yet, why not use his shaving cream to write I love you on the mirror, or write I love you on the mirror using the steam from the shower. Simple love notes, that require little thought, who needs poems.

Buying greeting cards are not just for anniversaries, birthdays, Mother's Day or Father's Day. Why not buy a card just because you are in love? Buy a card for each other once a month to show what you are feeling at that moment in time. The card doesn't have to be a card with poetic meaning. The card needs to express your feelings at that time; whether you are feeling humor, friendship, encouragement, sympathy, hope or love. The giving and receiving of cards is a simple gesture of endearing love.

Creating special moments for each other is also an important part of bringing romance in marriage. Special moments can involve a nice foot massage, meeting for lunch in the middle of the day, surprising each other with a child free night. Also, if you are not normally the person that cooks dinner for the family, create a special moment by cooking the family meal. Giving the cook a night off is one sure way to earn those important points in the romantic department.

For me after 18 years of marriage, I find the most romantic things my husband does for me involves my children. My son plays baseball, my husband is his coach, while I am sitting in the stands watching my son play I will glance over at my husband as he is blowing me a kiss. Watching my husband lay next to my daughter on her bed as she reads him a bedtime story just melts my heart. Watching my children share their love for their dad makes me fall in love with my husband even more.

Being romantic is important in any marriage, whether you have been married for twenty years or two years. It's easy to get comfortable in marriage and take each other for granted. Many marriages fail because they stop falling in love with each other. Romance in a marriage helps you fall in love again.

A few months ago, I started writing for Helium.com. Mostly, I joined Helium because I like writing; writing is a stress reliever for me. However, writing for Helium also means I have the opportunity to get paid for my writing. In February, I participated in Helium's Rate and Write Rewardathon. Writers had 3 months to write and rate as many articles as possible to earn money. Payout for this contests was April 15. Many writers made well over $1000, some $100 and I made $45. My goal was to make $100 but I just don't have the time or knowledge to write many articles. However, that %45 is the most I have ever been paid to write. Here is proof that Helium pays.



The image above is a screen shot from my paypal account. Not only did I get paid but I was paid quickly and it was deposited in my bank account with no trouble at all. You can click on the image for a larger view.

Thanks Helium.

If you want to get paid to write, check out Helium by clicking on this link.

http://www.helium.com/users/333047

If you join Helium be sure and tell them that Laurie Johansen sent you

For me getting pregnant was easy, it was staying pregnant that was hard. In October 1995, just over a month after having my third miscarriage, I found out I was pregnant. Finding out I was pregnant at age 31 after years of trying and three miscarriages, I was thrilled but scared.

Standing in the bathroom, looking at the plus sign on the stick I just peed on, I ran through the house looking for someone to tell. It was in the middle of the day and my husband was in California on business. I began jumping up and down chanting, "I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant." I must have looked like a crazy woman because my cat ran under the bed. Suddenly, the phone rang, I answered, "I'm Pregnant." Thankfully the person on the other end was my sister and not some solicitor. My sister was so excited to hear the news that she hung up on me.

Now that I was pregnant, I was determined to stay that way. I quit working out, I was no longer running 2 miles a day. I changed my diet; ate more fruits and vegetables and cut out caffeine completely. There was no way I was going to loose this baby.

At each prenatal check up I prayed that the baby's heartbeat would be heard. As the baby grew in my womb, I memorized it's movements. And on Valentine's Day 1996, I found out I was having a healthy baby boy. Knowing that my baby was healthy helped me relax and enjoy every minute of being pregnant.

Toward the end of April, the baby appeared to have stopped moving. For two days, I pushed on my belly hoping to get the baby to move. After the third day of no movement from the baby, I went to the doctors. Fearing that my precious boy had died, I cried as the doctor hooked me up to the fetal monitor.

There was a faint heartbeat, I stopped crying to hear better. "There," the doctor said, "do you hear it?" "Yes, I hear it," I said. As I began nudging my belly and talking to the baby, the heartbeat grew stronger and became louder.

My son was born a month and half later weighing 11 pounds and 22 inches long. The rest of the pregnancy was uneventful but the delivery was painful. Today he is an older brother, a star pitcher on his baseball team and a straight A student.

You are a few weeks past your due date and you can't remember the last time you saw your feet. Your belly has grown to the size of a beach ball and if you gain anymore weight the beach ball will burst. People tell you often that you look like you are ready to pop. You want your body back now, which means the beach ball...I mean...the baby needs to come out now. How do you induce labor? Let me count the ways.

1. Walk - Walking long distances may help the baby drop further into the birthing canal. Be careful while you walk, bring your cell phone with you in case you start contracting while on your walk. You don't want deliver the baby in the middle of the sidewalk.

2. Spicy Foods - Some people swear that eating spicy foods such as spicy chili or spicy Mexican foods induce labor. You can try the spicy food technique although you might deliver the foods you just ate rather than a baby.

3. Tea- Drinking specific teas may induce labor. Teas such as Raspberry Leaf Tea and Cinnamon Stick Tea are believed to relax the uterus if not the new mom.

4. Acupuncture - Some pressure points such as the roof of your mouth, between your finger and your thumb and about 4 finger spaces above the ankle help induce labor. If you aren't afraid of needles this might work at inducing your labor. If anything else it will help prepare you for the breathing process as you breathe through the needle sticks.

5.Blue and Black cohosh - These natural herbs can often help induce labor. Black Cohosh regulates contractions while Blue cohosh makes uterine contractions stronger. You can find these herbs in your local organic food market. However, before you try this natural remedy consult your physician.

6. Nipple Stimulation - Massaging your nipples may also induce labor. Massaging your nipples releases oxytcin which is a natural form of pitocin. And pitocin is used by doctors to induce labor. Of course massaging your nipples may be fun for your significant other.

7. Intercourse - Having intercourse while pregnant is often uncomfortable but if the female has an orgasm it can bring on contractions. Also, the male semen can ripen and soften the cervix. Who says being pregnant means no sex?

Many of these factors may be successful in inducing labor only if you are having contractions or in the early stages of labor. However, don't worry if they don't work for you because eventually you will give birth to a beautiful baby.

Hey you, move your eyes slowly from the screen take your hands off the keyboard and back away from the computer with your hands on top of your head. If being on the computer more than eight hours a day were against the law; then I am guilty.

I bought my first computer in 1996 and since then my life has been filled with never ending emails, instant messaging, chat rooms and Google. At work, I am on the computer four hours a day. After work, I am on the computer for another 4 to 6 hours. You can say that I am obsessed.

My computer obsession at first was just a hobby, learning graphic design, web design and dabbling in digital scrap booking. Then after my daughter was born in 1998, my computer has become my lifeline. Without my computer, I would have never learned that children with my daughter's disease do live. Without my computer, I would have never met my network of friends who have helped me understand my daughter's disease and how to take care of her. Without my computer, I would not be able to research the medications my daughter takes so that I can better understand what they are doing to her body. Without my computer, I would not be able to communicate effectively with my daughter's doctors because they are located in two different cities, two hours apart. Without my computer, I would be alone in a world of pediatric liver disease.

However, I am not just using the computer as a research tool. Today, I have turned my love for my computer into a money making venture. Currently, I am writing articles for Helium.com. My love for web design has encouraged me to start my own small web design business and I am making a little bit of money doing some graphic design. There are so many ways to make extra money online that your computer doesn't have to be just a place to send and receive emails. Your computer can make money for you.

As you can see my computer for me is more than just a way to communicate, it's helps me earn a living. The computer to me is more than just a bunch of hardware and software, the computer is my peace of mind. With my computer, people will learn about my daughter's disease and have hope. With my computer, I can make money while staying home with my children. With my computer, I am not alone.

Stepping away from my computer for even 24 hours is not an option. My computer is extension of me, it keeps me sane and it takes me away from my sometimes very stressful life. The only way you can pull me away from the computer is by handcuffing me and putting me in jail. The charge, mishandling the computer and computer overuse; guilty as charged. Go ahead throw the book at me but first give me my laptop so I can Google a good lawyer.

Taking a child to the doctors can be frightening experience for everyone involved. It doesn't matter what age the child is, a visit to the doctors can be a very traumatic event. You can make visits to the doctors easier for you and your child by following a few simple suggestions.

Prior to the doctor's visit, be honest with your child about the reason for the visit. If the visit to the doctor is for immunizations, tell your child exactly what to expect. Immunizations require shots and sometimes multiple shots. Tell your child that it will hurt a little but only for a brief moment. Tell your child why it's necessary for them to get immunizations.

If the visit to the doctor is for an illness, again tell the child what might happen during the appointment. However, reassure your child that you will be with them throughout the entire appointment. The worst thing a parent can do is not prepare the child for the doctor's visit in advance. Tell your child that the doctor will use special tools to look in the ears, the nose and in the mouth. Make sure you also explain the use of a stethoscope.

Don't forget to tell your child about the blood pressure cuff. The cuff is tight and can hurt as it tightens around your child's arm. Explain to your child that the tightness is only temporary and the cuff will release its grip as soon as it gets a proper reading. Having your child watch the numbers on the blood pressure machine can keep their mind off the procedure.

If your child is afraid of shots you can ask the doctor to provide a prescription for EMLA cream prior to the appointment. EMLA cream is a topical anesthetic that numbs the skin thus decreasing the pain. To use EMLA cream, just rub the cream in the area where the shot will be administered, your child will not feel any pain. The EMLA cream is also good for IV's and lab draws.

Sometimes it is necessary for your child to undergo specialized tests such as ultrasound's, CT scans, x-rays, or other medical tests. Explaining to your child why the specialized test is needed will prepare your child for what might otherwise be scary. You don't have to be exact in your explanation but let them know these tests are needed to get more answers.

Today's pediatric doctors, whether it's specialist in a certain pediatric area or regular pediatric doctor, are very aware of the fear surrounding doctor's visits. Many doctors today no longer wear the white lab coats because of the fear that the lab coats create. If your doctor still dresses like a doctor, you might suggest prior to the visit that the doctor remove their lab coat. Explaining to your doctor the fears your child has will make the doctor more comfortable in treating your child and in turn creating a much more likable relationship between doctor and child.

The most important thing to remember is that your child will show fear and frustration, if you show fear and frustration. Putting yourself in your child's shoes will help you better understand their feelings. Acknowledging your child's feelings is an important part of successful parenting. Telling your child it's okay to be scared and mad is acceptable, that you are scare and mad too. However, make sure you tell them that together you both will get through the doctors visit

Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

This Bible verse was placed on my daughter’s door; the door to her ICU room when she was just six weeks old. This verse is what reminded everyone that walked through those doors that faith was the only thing that mattered.

When you have a newborn baby that has just been diagnosed with a life threatening liver disease, you wonder how you are going to get through it. When your six week old daughter stops breathing and has to be resuscitated, you wonder if she is going to make it. When you have doctors tell you that it is out of their hands, you wonder who to turn to now. The only answer is faith.

When people learn of my daughter’s struggle; they often ask how I can stay calm knowing that every day my daughter’s life hangs in the balance. They ask me why I am not angry at God. They ask me how I stay calm in the face of uncertainty. The only answer is faith.

How people without faith get through life’s struggles is something I can’t even fathom. People without faith don’t have God in their lives. People without faith don’t understand prayer. People without faith would certainly question how I manage.

I look back at the nine and half year since my daughter’s birth and at times I do wonder how I managed to get through those times. There was so many times that I could have questioned God, been angry at God but that would not have changed anything.. Being angry would not have changed the fact that my daughter still had a liver disease. My faith in God is my foundation, the one true constant in my life.

My daughter’s future is unknown and her disease gets progressively worse I find myself relying on my faith even more. I know that no matter what, as long as I have faith in God, I can get through anything. I have hope that through my faith in God, my daughter’s life will be saved. With faith everything and anything is possible. I can’t cure my daughter, I can’t save my daughter but I can have hope with faith.

For 9 1/2 years I have witnessed a miracle. For 9 1/2 years, I prayed for a miracle. For 9 1/2 years, my miracle wakes up in the room next to mine. My daughter, Ashley, isn't supposed to be here according to her doctors, she wasn't supposed to make it past her first birthday. Each time my daughter wakes up is a miracle.

It was late July 1998 when Ashley was born. She was born with the umbilical cord tied around her neck a couple of times, her lips were blue. As the doctor tried to unravel the cord, the nurses were trying to feel for a pulse. Finally, the cord was cut and Ashley let out a little whimper. She was immediately taken to Pediatric Intensive Care and put on a ventilator. My pregnancy with Ashley was high risk, but I had no idea how high that risk was until she was born.

At two days old, it was discovered that Ashley had a precancerous cyst on her common bile duct near her liver called a choledochal cyst. A choledochal cyst on a newborn is rare and if not removed would become cancer. Hearing the word "cancer" scared us and we feared for Ashley's future. Ashley spent her first two weeks of life going through a series of tests. She would have labs drawn two to three times a day, an ultrasound every week, a biliary scan every few days and she was on 5 different medications. During this time, I remember feeling like I was living outside myself and someone else was living this nightmare. I also remember thinking, it would be worse; she could have cancer and we would be saying goodbye to our daughter before we could she could say hi. Little did I know that our nightmare was yet just beginning.

It was hard focusing on Ashley’s health and dealing with our then two year old son. At this time my husband was traveling 320 days out of the year so I was literally handling all of Ashley's medical care and still taking care of our son by myself. There were times that I literally slept walked through the day. Looking back, it's pretty remarkable that I managed all that I did and still gave my son a normal life.

When Ashley was home and not in the hospital we thoroughly enjoyed her, she was such a beautiful baby. She looked nothing like me; I have blonde hair and brown eyes and Ashley had reddish-brown hair and dark blue eyes but there was no doubt that she was her father's daughter. Despite having needles in her arm and taking really horrible flavored medications Ashley was always good baby.

When Ashley was six weeks old, we made plans to take her home to Alabama to have her baptized in our family church. We were very excited to show Ashley off to family and have her baptized on her daddy's 34th birthday. However, before we could travel out of town we had to get approval from her doctors. We took Ashley to visit with her doctor and we were immediately told that Ashley needed surgery now and it couldn't wait. We were stunned, all I could say was, "wait we can't, she hasn't been baptized." The doctor gave us one day to get affairs in order and to arrange someone to care for Ashley’s big brother, Brad.

It was important to me to have Ashley baptized and I became very upset that she would not be baptized before her surgery. Ashley's pediatrician called me during one of my more emotional moments, when she asked me what was wrong, I was calm as I told her that Ashley needed surgery but frantic when I told her that Ashley wasn't baptized. She told me not worry that Ashley was a child of God and she would go to heaven even if she was not baptized. I knew she was right but I still wanted her baptized.

On September 18, 2008, Ashley was baptized over our coffee table in our family room at 10:30 p.m. by a Lutheran pastor. Ashley's pediatrician had found a Lutheran minister who would be willing to baptize Ashley at our home no matter what time of night. Our pediatrician did not know we were Lutheran but yet she found a Lutheran minister. The next day, Ashley had surgery.

Ashley's surgery was supposed take a few hours but eight hours later and Ashley was still in surgery. Handing my daughter over to a nurse was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I remember watching the nurse walk down the hall with my daughter in her arms, wondering if I was ever going to see her again. The last thing, I did was give Ashley a kiss on the forehead, and as she was taken from me, I sang, "please don't take my sunshine away." As the doors to the operating room shut behind my daughter and her nurse, I prayed for a miracle.

The hours waiting for Ashley to come out of surgery were the most difficult in my life. Those hours seemed to take days to pass. Those hours allowed me to think, to think things I shouldn't; things like what if she dies, is my baby dead, what if she can't be fixed, what if I can't help her. Sure I prayed, I cried, but I couldn’t stop thinking that something horrible happened.

Finally, almost 8 hours after Ashley was taken to surgery, her surgeon walked into the surgery waiting room. All of the other surgeons spoke to their parents in the waiting room; we were escorted into a private room. I remember grabbing my husband’s hand and squeezing it; he squeezed back. As we sat down across from the surgeon, we learned the cyst was removed and was not cancer but that Ashley had a liver disease. Her liver disease was called biliary atresia. Bilary what? The surgeon went on to explain that her disease would require her to need a liver transplant before her first birthday or she would not survive. We were in the private room for 30 minutes talking to the surgeon but all I heard was liver disease, liver transplant, no cure, no cause and would not live. This could not be happening.

After our talk with the surgeon, my husband and I didn’t say a word to each other; my husband was in tears and I was too stunned to talk much less cry. As my husband called my mom with the news, I just slid down the wall in the hospital hallway, put my face in my hands and cried.

Ashley came out of surgery well, but she was placed on ICU and on a ventilator. The horror of seeing our tiny six week old baby girl with wires, tubes and monitors keeping her alive was not something I wanted to remember much less experience. Ashley was swollen; she was very yellow; she didn’t look anything like the beautiful baby I handed to the nurse hours ago. It was at that time that I realized how sick Ashley really was. It was also at that time that I prayed, “God, you gave me this beautiful baby to love and care for over 10 months ago and I am not going to let you have her back.” “God, she is my child now and I will raise her to be a child of God but you cannot take her from me now.”

Ashley spent several months in and out of the hospital her first year of life, she had to be resuscitated several times. Twice we had doctors tell us that they would do everything possible to save our daughter’s life. More than once I had to tell Ashley’s big brother that Ashley may not come home from the hospital. No parent should ever have to go through what went through with Ashley during her first year of life.

The reason I believe in miracles is because I live with one. The doctors cannot explain why Ashley is still here but I can; she is a miracle from God. During Ashley’s first year there were many miracles witnessed. However, even now 9 ½ years later we are still experiencing miracles. Ashley still has her originally liver; she hasn’t been transplanted yet. The doctors said she would make it past her first birthday but she did; she has had several birthdays since and that’s a miracle!

I know that we will continue to experience miracles surrounding Ashley. We hope to experience the miracle of liver transplantation. We hope to experience the miracle of a cure. Miracles do happen, if you don’t believe, just look at my daughter.

Every year at the start of the New Year, I take a moment to reflect on the past. Each year I ask myself a few questions. Do I have any regrets? Would I change anything? And how can I make things different for the New Year? My answers have always been the same. There are no regrets, there is nothing I would change, and the next year will be no different. It wasn't until my dad passed away in late December 2006 that my annual questions took on a different meaning.

The year following my dad's death, I found myself wanting to please him even more. I wanted him to look down on me from heaven saying, "That's my girl, good job." But in that year I made many mistakes that I am positive disappointed my dad. Those mistakes and the love I have for my dad made me answer those New Year questions differently.

Do I have any regrets? There are many regrets starting with not being true to myself and others. Would I change anything? Change is hard and changing the past is impossible but I can learn from it and not make excuses for it. How can I make things different for the New Year? Making things different takes honesty, perseverance and strength. This year I started my year saying the Serenity Prayer and I will end the year with the same prayer.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Reciting the Serenity Prayer daily should help me have a better year than the last. Maybe next year, I won't be asking myself those annual questions but maybe I will be content that the prior year went just as it should have. Happy New Year!

Planning a boy's birthday party can be both fun and challenging. When planning a boy's party keep in mind the likes and dislikes of that child. Creating a themed birthday party can be memorable not only for the birthday boy but for his guests too. Themed birthday parties can be done at any age.

First birthday parties are usually centered on family. However, you can still create a theme for this milestone birthday. First birthday's can reflect the child's first year of life. Make a framed picture collage of the child's first year of life. Provide an autograph book for guest to sign as they arrive for the party. The autograph book can be used not only for guest to sign but they can also leave messages for the birthday boy. Taking pictures of each guest with the birthday boy can be added to the autograph book.

When planning a birthday for boys turning 2 to 5 years of age can be as easy as creating a themed birthday party around the latest fad for that age group. Some ideas for parties for this age group are Rescue Vehicle Party with a cake and Piñata to match. A clown party with face painting and games like Pin the Red Nose on the clown.

Once your child is in elementary school, parties tend to include many friends. These birthday parties can be simple such as skate parties, miniature golf parties to the most complex parties such as Karaoke parties, slumber parties, to Scavenger Hunts. There are several party themes that can be used for this age group. Some themes include a Pirate party, Movie Night party, Camp Out party, Dinosaur Dig party, etc.

Middle school and high school boys love parties that involve sports or some kind of challenge. These parties can have themes such as a Survivor party, Poker Party, Football party. A big hit is an Extreme Sport party where you create an obstacle course that challenges the athleticism of the birthday boy and his guest. You can also create a Scavenger Hunt birthday party for this age group. Have the guest and birthday boy go door to door in the neighborhood in search of certain items on a list. This can be done in teams and the team with the most items checked off wins the Scavenger Hunt and a prize.

Whatever party you plan for your birthday boy be sure to include him in the planning process. Give him a choice on what themes are acceptable and affordable. Theme parties are a great way to involve everyone in the party and they provide a memorable experience for everyone.

The baby of the family, the outcast, the black sheep, and the family embarrassment created a wedge between us and her. For over twenty years she decided that drugs and alcohol were more important than her family. For twenty years, we tried to remain a family in spite of and because of her.

When asked, I tell people that I have two sisters and no brothers, only to remember later that I really have three sisters. I don't intentionally leave off my youngest sister's name when talking about my family; it's just that she has removed herself so far away from our family that I forget she exists.

I choose not to talk about my little sister because I am embarrassed, not because she embarrasses me but because somehow I have failed as an older sister. As an older sister, I should have protected her from the horrors of drugs and alcohol.

Forgetting that I have a little sister is not easy, it breaks my heart. It's difficult on my mom and it was difficult on my dad. My dad died and my little sister was too high on drugs to attend his funeral. Being angry at my little sister is easy and painful.

We tried rehab, we tried intervention, we tried tough love, we tried showering her with love; nothing worked. She continues to push us away while she pushes cocaine up her nose. Being raised in a close-knit, family-oriented environment, you would think she would run to us when she had problems instead of the drugs.

As a Christian, I have opened my heart to still care for my little sister as she is but I find it difficult to love her. Her life, the life she has chosen to live, is so far from the life I live and the life I dream for her. It's hard watching her fall in the depths of despair so I choose to look away.

However, just because I chose to look away doesn't mean that I don't pray for her. Praying for her gives me a sense of comfort. Praying for her gives me hope that maybe someday my little sister will blend with our family again. Praying for my sister means that there is hope that someday I may have my little sister back.

The power the drugs and alcohol have over my little sister is so unfair. How can we compete with something that makes her feel the way the drugs make her feel, whatever feeling that might be? My little sister should not be a stranger to me; she should be my best friend.

Today's teens seem to be under more stress than the teens of a decade ago. Teens like adults need to learn how to manage their stress through relaxation. By teaching teens to relax under stressful situations, teaches them valuable stress management skills. There are many factors contributing to the stress of our teenagers today.

Teenagers who are stressed often are anxious, withdrawn and angry. Stress in teenagers can lead to drug use and illicit behavior. It is important that parents teach teenagers how to manage their stress. There are several techniques that teens can use to relieve and manage their stress.

Teenagers who exercise regularly are better equipped to handle stress. Exercising can be an important outlet for frustration. Exercising usually helps release bent up tension caused by frustration and anger.

Eating regularly and eating healthy is also important part of releasing the stress in your body. Do not allow your teenager to skip meals, skipping meals causes hunger which can lead to anger and short-tempers not to mention illness which in turn creates unwanted stress.

Refraining from drugs, tobacco and alcohol use not only keeps the body healthy but it prevents stress caused by these destructive habits. Teens who are doing drugs and alcohol are usually keeping it from family, keeping secrets can cause stress.
Taking a break from the stressful situation will also help teens cope. If the stress is caused by social environments it might be helpful to find a peer group that will combat stress together while in social settings. Having a network of friends to communicate stressful feeling can result in positive behavior.

Teens can cope with stress by listening to music, taking a walk, talking to a friend and talking to family. It is a good idea for teens to keep journals. Writing in your Journal daily can help you deal with the stresses of the day.

The most important thing a teen can do to help combat stress is to be positive, surround themselves with people who will help each other cope. Parents should help the teen by listening to them, by being aware of their feelings and their environment. Also, getting involved in your teens school and sports programs will not only help your teen with stress but it will create a close relationship with your teen.

By following these techniques and others, your teen will be able to manage stress better, be healthier and happier. Teens need to know that stress is normal but they also need to know that they can trust you to help them manage the stress.

There is nothing better than being a baseball mom. When you are a baseball mom the song "Take me out to the ball game" takes on a whole new meaning. There is nothing like sitting in the stands watching your little 5 year old hit the baseball for the first time. Seeing the excitement in your little man's face as he slides into home plate, you can't help but fall in love with Little League Baseball.

I knew I'd be a baseball mom when my son was just 8 months old and was pitching a baseball to his dad like he knew exactly what he was doing. My son's facial expression as he threw that baseball over handed was a "pitcher" perfect baseball face. It was at that moment that I knew my son was born to play baseball.

Realizing that being a baseball mom was in my future was a little disappointing since I really didn't like baseball. I knew nothing about baseball what equipment was needed to pay the game. I didn't have a favorite baseball team, I didn't even know the names of any of the professional baseball teams. Baseball games were boring to me and don't get me on the Skoal dipping baseball players - yuck!

When my son turned 5 in the summer of 2001, I took him down to the Little League field and signed him up for baseball. The next day I went to the local sporting goods store and bought him his first real baseball bat, baseball glove, and his first pair of baseball pants. A week later my son went to his first ever baseball practice. Watching twelve 5 year olds play baseball is more like watching twelve 5 years olds dig in the dirt on the field. They did more bug chasing then baseball catching.

Now my son is almost 12 years old, he not only plays Little League baseball but he plays AAU ball too. We are at the baseball field 10 months out of the year and two to four times a week but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Watching my son grow with the sport has been such a rewarding experience for me. He truly loves the game which makes me love it even more.

Having spent 7 years on the baseball field, I now know the fundamentals of the game and my favorite professional baseball team is the Boston Red Sox - GO SOX! I am the loudest mom in the baseball stands. I love my son's teammates like they are all my boys too. My son's Little League and AAU teams are like family to me. Now I look forward to double header baseball games and baseball tournaments. I am a baseball mom and I am proud of it.

Isn't it time to say I am sorry
To make the pain go away
Isn't time to say I am not perfect
That I make mistakes along the way

Isn't it time to say I am sorry
Because of the things you do and say
Isn't it time to say I love you
And mean it in every way

Isn't it time to say I am sorry
Because you made me cry today
Isn't it time to make me feel loved
And to say that I was sent from God above

Isn't it time to say I am sorry
And I am proud you're my wife
Isn't it time to say Thank You
you are my reason and my life.

Isn't time to say I am sorry
For expecting too much of me
Isn't it time for you to say
That you are the best you can be!

Isn't it time to say I am sorry
Because I know you're not perfect
And I love you anyway.

Any type of stress in a marriage is difficult, whether it's financial, emotional, sexual, or medical. Throw a chronic illness into a marriage, the stress can be unbearable. Dealing with a chronic illness can create the additional stresses as mentioned before. It's how you deal with the stress that can make or break a marriage.

Nine and half years ago my husband and I were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. Her birth and life has turned out to be a test in our marriage due to her chronic liver disease. From the day she was born we were thrown into a whirl-wind of tests, medical terminology, lack of sleep, doctors, fear but most of all stress. Our stress is not just related to her health but because of her health we have financial stress, emotional stress and yes, sexual stress. For nine and half years, my husband and I have worked hard to keep our marriage together and our children happy.

Dealing with the financial stress related to having a child with a chronic illness is actually more difficult then dealing with the chronic illness itself. Being a one income family with medical bills piling up keeps us literally one paycheck away from being homeless. To deal with the financial stress, my husband has swallowed his pride to allow us to begin fundraising to help cover excessive medical bills now and in the future. As much as I needed to stay home with my daughter, I finally realized that I needed to go back to work part-time. And we finally had to admit to ourselves that our financial security will never be as secure as it was before our daughter's birth. However, loosing our financial security is worth it if we can save our daughter's life.

The emotional aspect surrounding a marriage with a chronic illness can directly affect the sexual aspect of marriage. If you are emotionally detached from the marriage because of the stress in dealing with a chronic illness then the sexual stress rears its ugly head (no pun intended). My husband and I have had to mark out time on the calendar just for us. We take advantage of nights out to become romantically involved again. Even if we can't get out of the house, we lock ourselves in our bedroom, have a glass of wine and well, you know the rest. Spending alone time together is very important in creating a well balanced marriage, not to mention family. Also, as my husband says, "Sex can be a stress reliever."

Dealing with the stress a chronic illness can create in a marriage does not have to end a marriage. It's how you handle; channel that stress that can make the marriage grow stronger. You can learn from that stress, learn about the strength in your marriage and be a better stronger couple because of it. The key to any relationship with stress or without stress is communication. The most important thing you can do for each other is share your feelings, share your fears, your anxiety, and yes, your stress too. However, remember to listen. Listening is a major factor to successful communication. You have to be there for one another 100% of the time. A successful marriage is not 50/50; it's 100% of each other all the time.

Being married is easy, staying married takes work. Staying married with the additional stress surrounding a chronic illness takes determination, perseverance, and strength. A chronic illness is only one stress in a relationship. It's having faith in your marriage and your love for each other that will help you manage the stress.

Organ donation, just two words to most people but to me those two words mean that there is hope! As a child my family talked about organ donation, giving of oneself so that others could live. We never thought that one of us would need a new organ or become an organ donor. Talking about organ donation was a subject discussed at the dinner table as easily as saying our prayers before every meal. It was no surprise to anyone that at age 16, when I received my driver's license, that organ donor would be placed on my new license. Not only did I have organ donor on my driver's license but I also checked the box to donate $1 to our local organ procurement organization. Never in a million years would I have guessed that my life would change because someone I loved needed to live with the help of organ donation.

When one dreams of having children, you dream of that perfect little baby with ten fingers, ten toes, a beating heart and that beautiful baby skin. No one ever dreams of having a child with a serious medical condition. No one ever dreams of having a yellow baby. No one ever dreams of a life spent in and out of hospitals just to keep your baby alive. No one ever dreams of watching their baby grow into a walking, talking toddler wondering if they will make it to kindergarten. No one ever dreams of their school age child being teased because she has a scar across her belly or because she has hairy arms due to the medications she takes. No one ever dreams of having a child only to fear that every day may be their child's last. No one ever dreams that their baby would need a liver transplant.

Organ donation to me means that I can dream of my daughter's future without fear or at least with hope. Organ donation means that my son will always have his sister to love and will not fear attending her funeral. Organ donation means that I can watch my daughter enjoy life without hospitals in it. Organ donation means that my husband and I will be forever grateful to someone we don't know but will live on in our daughter. Organ donation means that my daughter can live a normal life and dream of having babies of her own.

How has organ donation changed my life? Organ donation has changed the way I dream, how I hope and how I pray. The words organ donation are not just two little words, organ donation are words to live by, organ donation are words of LIFE