And She Writes too

At night when it was time for me to get ready for bed, my daddy would pick me up so I could reach the top drawer of his dresser and pick out one of his t-shirts. My dad's t-shirts were my pajama's, I loved the way they fit me and how they felt. I loved that my dad's t-shirts were big enough for me to draw my knees up to my chest and cover them. My dad's t-shirts were often just plain white undershirts but sometimes his shirts had grease stains on them, or paint smeared on them. And sometimes his t-shirts had images of humor on them but what I loved most about them was that they smelled like my dad.

My dad wasn't perfect; he wasn't a wealthy man or a college educated man. He worked many jobs and was fired from just as many. My dad had habits that I didn't like; he smoked, he cursed like a sailor, he was a male chauvinist and he was selfish. Growing up I was scared of my dad; scared of his anger, scared of his hands and scared of disappointing him. My dad was a strong disciplinarian and often ran our home like a boot camp. However, my dad wore his heart on his sleeve. My dad on the outside looked like big grizzly bear but was soft and cuddly like a teddy bear.

For me, my dad was everything I needed him to be. My dad taught me the value of a dollar by showing me that wealth was not as important as love. My dad taught me that education is what helps a person succeed. I learned from my dad that cursing in anger doesn't always produce the results that you want. My dad taught me that bad habits are hard to stop but easy to never start. My dad taught me that it is okay to be scared as long as we don't let fear rule our lives. However, most importantly my dad taught me how to love unconditionally.

As a little girl, my dad was invincible. He was my hero but never saved anyone's life, never fought in a war, he never fought a fire or even rescued a cat from high in a tree. Nonetheless, my dad was someone as big as the Hulk, as strong as Superman and as invincible and Batman. The little girl in me thought my dad could do anything, could be anything and would live forever.

When I got married, and my dad walked me down the isle, I whispered to him that I would always be his little girl. At forty-one years old, sixteen years after my dad gave me away, I was still his little girl. I would still crawl in his lap, give him a kiss on the cheek and embrace his bear hugs. Being with my dad brought out my vulnerability and my insecurities but at the same time he reminded me of my strength.

Today, a year and half after my dad's death, I would give anything to crawl in my dad's lap, give him a kiss one last time, and feel his big arms around me. Today, I would love to tell my dad just how important he is to me. Today, I would give anything for just one more private moment with my dad, one more long conversation, one more chance to say love you Pop. Today, I wear his t-shirt to bed and draw my knees to my chest as tears fall from my face.

Just yesterday someone asked me if I could have any car in the world what would I want? I am not much into cars so this was a hard question for me to answer. Therefore, I decided to come up with the top 10 cars I'd like to own. Many of my choices have more to do with there sentimental value rather than there looks or economical contributions.

First, the Fiat X1/9. As a teenager I owned a 1976 bright yellow Fiat X1/9 and this little car became my favorite. I loved being able to take the top off, drive around town as the wind blew my long blond hair. That car was my signature; people knew my car before they knew me.

Second, a turquoise and white '57 Chevy. My dad restored old cars for a hobby and then later as job. His first major job was restoring an old 57 Chevy from chassis to steering wheel. This car was a beauty that won many awards at antique car shows. Owning a turquoise and white 57 Chevy would be a tribute to my dad; a man who lived and breathed antique cars.

Third, the 1959 Corvette convertible; another influence from my dad. My mom and dad had a 1959 Corvette Convertible when they were first married in 1962. I remember hearing stories of them taking the Corvette and driving to Lake Tahoe for their honeymoon. Not only does this car have sentimental value but it's one heck of a stylish car. How can you not like a convertible Corvette?

Fourth, a 1975 red Ford Mustang. Why not go back in time to the car that first attracted me to my husband. Sure it was old and had horrible interior but his car had potential, it had personality. When my husband pulled up in my driveway to pick me up for a date, I couldn't help but hold my head up higher as I sat in the passenger's seat of his hot little red Mustang. It also helped that my date was HOT too.

Okay now on to the more modern cars. Many of my choices here are more practical and economical choices. As a mom of two children, I am always looking for ways to save money, conserve energy while still being practical. Therefore, my next few choices are for the mommy in me.

Fifth, the newest model of the Toyota Sienna. Right now, I own a 2003 Sienna, this van has great gas mileage and it seats 7 people comfortably. However, there are some things that need improvement. The newer Sienna's are a more practical van then the earlier models. They now have automatic doors which are helpful when you have your hands full of children and groceries. The windows in the back of the van go down so the passengers can have access to the outside world. The seats in the newer model are also easily removed for larger cargo. Of course, every mom of young children needs an entertainment package in their car and the Toyota Sienna delivers.

Sixth, the 2008 Honda CRV. I first saw this car when driving to work one day, and I instantly fell in love with it. Not only is the CRV economical getting 20/27 miles per gallon but it's cute to boot. It has the look of an SUV but drives like a car. You can't go wrong with a Honda.

Seventh, the 2008 Dodge Caravan. This car was a must have after seeing a commercial when the model first came out on the market. My kids reaction to the swivel seats and the pop up table for playing cards on long road trips not to mention the dual DVD player, made this practical van a must have on my list.

My next three choices are not so much family friendly cars but cars my family wants. I can't dream about the top ten cars I want without including my immediate family's choices with my own.

Therefore, my eighth car isn't a car at all but a truck. No, I wouldn't by truck for myself, I am not a truck person at all but my son loves trucks. Since he was about 5 years old he has dreamed about owning a Ford F-250. Not very practical, but when he turns 16 in about 4 years, I would certainly feel better with him being behind the wheel of a Ford F-250 over any sports car.

My ninth choice is for my daughter. She wants a black convertible Corvette. Again, not very practical and personally the thought of her behind the wheel of Corvette scares me. She is only 10, so I have six more years to talk her into a car that doesn't drive faster than her mommy can run. Maybe a Volkswagen Bug will be in her future.

Last but not least, I would like a BMW; any model of any year. When I met my husband, he told me that he would have a BMW by the time he turned 25, instead he married me. He still talks about loosing his dream car to his dream wife and one of these days I would like to make his dream car tangible.

Looking over my list, I have learned that my love for cars is limited to what others love and what I see as practical. Sure I dream about driving an expensive out-of-my-reach car but I am more of a realist. The chance of me having the money to buy any of the cars listed is pretty slim so the chance of me owning an expensive car is nil. Therefore, I think I will stick with my little 2003 Toyota Sienna Van CE.