And She Writes too

As a young woman, I read a few romance novels and often wondered if romance like that truly existed in a marriage. When I became part of the dating world at age 16, I wanted that knight in shinning armor to sweep me off my feet, ride me off into the sunset on his white horse. When I reached my twenties and started looking for husband material, I looked for romance; the candlelight dinners, the love notes, the poems, the unexpected thoughtful gifts. When I got married, I learned that romance is nothing like what you read in those romance novels. However, romance does and can exist in a marriage.

Keeping romance in a marriage doesn't have to involve lots of work or even days of planning. Being romantic doesn't have to involve a dozen roses, candlelight dinners and dancing under the stars. Most men find being romantic difficult, overrated and costly. Most women find it necessary, fulfilling and an expression of love. To me, romance should be simple and thoughtful.

You don't have to charge romance on your credit card. Leaving meaningful notes for each other in unexpected places can put a new spark into a fluttering flame. Sending the love of your life a simple but sweet email during the work day is just enough to remember why you fell in love. You've seen it the movies, "I love you" written on the mirror with lipstick, try it, I promise sparks will fly. Or better yet, why not use his shaving cream to write I love you on the mirror, or write I love you on the mirror using the steam from the shower. Simple love notes, that require little thought, who needs poems.

Buying greeting cards are not just for anniversaries, birthdays, Mother's Day or Father's Day. Why not buy a card just because you are in love? Buy a card for each other once a month to show what you are feeling at that moment in time. The card doesn't have to be a card with poetic meaning. The card needs to express your feelings at that time; whether you are feeling humor, friendship, encouragement, sympathy, hope or love. The giving and receiving of cards is a simple gesture of endearing love.

Creating special moments for each other is also an important part of bringing romance in marriage. Special moments can involve a nice foot massage, meeting for lunch in the middle of the day, surprising each other with a child free night. Also, if you are not normally the person that cooks dinner for the family, create a special moment by cooking the family meal. Giving the cook a night off is one sure way to earn those important points in the romantic department.

For me after 18 years of marriage, I find the most romantic things my husband does for me involves my children. My son plays baseball, my husband is his coach, while I am sitting in the stands watching my son play I will glance over at my husband as he is blowing me a kiss. Watching my husband lay next to my daughter on her bed as she reads him a bedtime story just melts my heart. Watching my children share their love for their dad makes me fall in love with my husband even more.

Being romantic is important in any marriage, whether you have been married for twenty years or two years. It's easy to get comfortable in marriage and take each other for granted. Many marriages fail because they stop falling in love with each other. Romance in a marriage helps you fall in love again.